PIRATES RULE THE WAVES

How the fuck do dudes in flip-flops, dinky boats and a couple of rusty rifles manage to hijack a $1 billion supertanker that's three times the size of an aircraft carrier?

This happened despite the fact that these waters are patrolled by an anti-piracy taskforce made up of modern NATO warships. What the fuck is going on? Hollywood leads us to believe that western intelligence agencies like the CIA can track our every move from spy satellites, but they can't even find a massive supertanker? So far this year the anti-pirate taskforce has failed to prevent pirate gangs from seizing ships carrying dangerous chemicals, battle tanks and heavy weaponry, bagging themselves over $100 million in ransom money. Most of the hijacked ships are taken to the port of Ely, a notorious pirate lair on the Somali coast. I'd love to go there and hang out with these ballsy motherfuckers. However, it's pretty dangerous - the last photographer who went there had to be accompanied by a 15-man militia for protection.

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